“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, or infertility are commonplace tragedies that affect many families in our faith communities. Because so many parents are silently grieving, we know that even more families have experienced loss and longing than we ever realized and that the grief associated with this loss is often misunderstood, undervalued, and under supported.
As believers, though, we serve the God of all comfort. We can rest in His promise that “those who mourn will be comforted” (Matt 5:4). God uses our pain and fear to draw us near to Him, to awaken us to the reality of the brokenness in this world and in ourselves, and to remind us of the hope we have in eternity with Jesus. His promise is to make all things new, to reveal all things, to wipe away every tear, to dwell with His people, and be with them as their God.
Walking alongside friends, family members, and coworkers, and experiencing this kind of loss myself, the most common response I have come across from others is a loss for words and an uneasiness about how to minister to a family in the midst of grief. What my experience has told me is that comfort and healing are best experienced through presence. Simple acts of kindness like providing a meal or childcare, running errands, or doing chores for a grieving family are great ways to show a family that they are not alone.
If you know someone who is experiencing this kind of hurt, show up for your friends. Don’t wait for them to ask for help. Don’t wait for the right words to say. You do not need to offer an explanation or try to cheer them up. Be WITH your friends.
If you’re in the midst of grieving a loss, or you know and love someone who is, we grieve with you. We pray that these resources might meet and encourage you in your grief.
Books:
Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage
Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb
Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss
I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy
Articles:
3 Things Your Friend Who Miscarried Needs to Hear
Dads Hurt Too: A Father’s Memoir of Miscarriage
Learning to Lament — Risen Motherhood
Podcasts:
Infertility, Miscarriage & Motherhood with Courtney Reissig
Hope After Miscarriage: Two Moms Share Their Stories of Loss & Healing
Music:
“Be Still My Soul” by Kari Jobe
“Not For A Moment” by Meredith Andrews
Websites and Support groups:
Cradled by Love, Hope and Healing
About the Author
Michelle Witt serves as the Minister to Children and Families at Columbus Avenue Baptist Church. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education from Tarleton State University and a master’s degree in Family Ministry from Dallas Baptist University. She has over a decade of experience serving in preschool and children’s ministry in a variety of roles.
Michelle has a passion to serve families by equipping parents to disciple their children, sharing the love of Christ with children and families, and teaching children what it means to follow Jesus. She believes that it is never too early to start sharing God’s love and truth with children.
Michelle is the proud wife of Pete Witt, and mom to four beautiful girls. She loves Jesus, coffee, and talking about feelings. Her favorite things to do are go shopping and cook with her daughters, read, and enjoy Sunday afternoon naps on the couch.
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