“Lord, make me aware of my end and the number of my days so that I will know how short-lived I am…Yes, every human being stands as only a vapor…Now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.” – Psalm 39:4-5, 7
I heard a man living with a terminal cancer diagnosis say, “None of us really live as if we’re going to die.” He was on to something. Why do illness, frailty, and death evoke anger from us as if we’ve been personally offended? At our core, we believe that it should not happen to us. We may not have a list of reasons for thinking that way, but our default is to reject it as unjust.
Maybe that is why the psalmist has to pray for this insight. It is a brave and transforming prayer indeed. “Lord, help me to see that I’m only a vapor. Make me aware of my end.” Facing my end honestly exposes deeply hidden and deeply held excuses…“But I should get something different, Lord!”…Even as the thought is formed, I know it is not true. Once again, I walk that humble path to Calvary. I do deserve death. I have received hope.
“Now, Lord, what do I wait for?” After facing my end, I find that I can come back not in some morbid malaise but rather in a deeper enjoyment of the day. When I hold less tightly to this world, I find I am freer to enjoy this world. If this world does not have to be my heaven, then it can be my beautiful, though broken, temporary home.
“My hope is in You!”
Think These Things 